Florduh Man Episode One: Robbin Mcdonalz
(Florduh man is sleeping in his bed and the alarm goes off)
(Florduh man shoots it with his shotgun)
(Florduh man wakes up and walks into the kitchen)
Mother: Hey huh! I was thinking we could maybe have a little family night tonight! We could all even have some recess peanut butter cups!
Mother: I bought two packs of recess peanut butter cups with what allowance you gave me! One for each member of the family!
Mother: I was thinking we could have a peanut butter cup night and watch some movies?
Florduh Man: No woman! I need someone to help me haul wood.
Mother: Uh, fine I guess honey.
Florduh Man: Ofcourse someone like you aint gonna help me haul wood.
Florduh Man: Which one of my kids is gonna help me HAUL SOME GODAMN WOOD?
Florduh Man: Or I'm gonna haul my wood into that pillow over there!
Mother: Please dont.
(Florduh man walks over to the socialist girls room and knocks the door down)
Jenna: Ugh dad! Can you knock.
Florduh Man: I aint knockin! This is my public goddamn property woman!
Jenna: Ugh, and this is why private property should be abolished!
(Jeanna clacks on her keyboard and tweets something on x)
Florduh Man: Anyways, I need you haul some wood for me… can you do that?
Jenna: Um, no! Im busy… fuck off dad!
Florduh man: Busy clackin on that godamn keyboard about karl marx! Get your ass out here and help me haul wood Jenna! You goddamn socialist!
Jenna: Well when the soviet union eventually comes back, im going to move there and become a poet and a journalist! I dont haul wood, it's not my career choice dad.
Florduh Man: Well maybe owens strong right arm would be better!
(Florduh man runs into owens room)
Owen: MOMMY! MAKE ME A FUCKING SANDWICH
Owen: Oh right.
Florduh Man: OWEN! Stop wankin in and help me haul some godamn wood!
Owen: NO!
Florduh man: Alright then you PUSSY.
Owen: Oh my god this guys gotta get out of the discord serve- PUSSY? I'm not a pussy!
Florduh Man: Yes you are, unless you get your ass out here and haul wood!
Owen: Uh huh… How about no? I don't need to actually lift things to prove that I'm not a pussy! I just need to ban people and enforce the rules of my discord server! See dad… that's how I got this jacked right arm!
Florduh Man: Ive had enough…
(Florduh man whips out his shotgun and cocks it)
Florduh Man: GET YER FUCKING ASS OUT HERE NOW AND HAUL SOME GODAMN WOOD! BEFORE I START SWINGING MY NUTSACK AROUND LIKE A GRANDFATHER CLOCK!
Owen: Ok fine!
(Jenna hears what's going on the room next to hers)
Jenna: Uh oh.
(Florduh man suddenly barges into jennas room and aims a shotgun at her)
Jenna: Ok, FINE!
Florduh Man: Yea, get your ass out here and start hauling wood! Like wood goddamn woodpecker!
(Cut to outside and them hauling wood)
Owen: Uggghhhhh… I need to moderate… masturbate… procreate…
Jenna: My role in a soviet society is a writer and a poet! Not a labourer…
Florduh Man: Keep it coming you two!
(Two hours later…)
Jenna: Hmmmm… I cant fucking take this anymore.
Jenna: Hmmm… lennin…revolution! YES! I got it… I must start a revolution!
Jenna: Owen, we need to start a revolution!
Owen: Uhhh, will you follow the rules of my discord server?
Jenna: Uh… I guess.
Owen: Well then, what do you need me to do.
Jenna: I need you take a rock with your muscular right arm and throw it at dad
Owen: Uh, okay.
(Owen chucks a rock at his dad and he falls unconscious) (Animate this)
(Jenna swoops in and grabs his shotgun) (Animate this)
Jenna: Ive had enough of your wood hauling.
Florduh Man: Uh oh… Uh…. Hey… Listen guys I dont know if you knew but you were actually just about to finish, so why the hell are you doing this anyway? (Shot of empty wood pile)
Jenna: It's about the revolution and standing up for the working class.
Florduh Man: Uh… Listen… Uh oh… uh…
Florduh Man: I will go with whatever you say little lenin as long as you help me rob mcdonalds… I would just go and get a burger but I cant since I'm banned, so I gotta use a little bit of elbow grease… My greasy elbows are covered in semen.
Jenna: Hmmmmm… Mcdonalds… fascist! Yes… It's time to stick it to the mcfacists!
Florduh Man: I uh, I guess whatever makes you stop aiming that shotgun in my face.
(Jenna and florduh man stand up)
Florduh: Alright jenna, I got a spare pistol that I hid from you when you tried to start a lenin style revolution inside of a bucees… but I suppose you can have it!
Jenna: Yay! Weapons back in the hands of the proletariat!
Florduh Man: The plan is simple, owen-
Owen: Nope.
Florduh Man: What?
Owen: I'm going to moderate my discord server.
Florduh Man: Alright so you and I will aim our guns at the cashier, you will aim yours at the cashier on the left and I will aim at the one on the right… We will each rush inside of the McDonalds and throw all of the hamburgers and hotdogs into sacks! Not nutsacks! SACKS! And same with the french fries but I will do that.
Jenna: MMM! A tasty revolution lies ahead.
Florduh Man: Yea id cool with that lenin talk I dont want the cubans and retires skinning my head again.
Jenna: No, free speech!
(Florduh man covers jennas mouth)
(Florduh man drives his truck over to the mcdonalds)